Spelling counts

Another primary complaint related to email is information overload: the number of emails exchanged and individual emails that are too long, especially those that have been commented on and propagated by multiple participants in a single thread. Someone with high EQ puts the reader in focus and realizes no reader wants to sift through those epic emails. When those novellas posing as emails hit the inboxes of mature emailers the threads end there. They know to start a new email in which they summarize the story thus far and reevaluate the distribution list. Or they go a different route outside of email. They do what is necessary to progress the project or decision the email is about and not the email itself. One survey respondent offered this approach to epic emails: “Email is often overused when a meeting is necessary; I follow a rule of thumb: after an initial email, if there are more than 2 mails after that with additional questions/information, then [I] call or [convene a] meeting."

Subject lines are another critical element for successful emails. The subject line should tell the reader what the message is about and why it matters and should convey relative priority. Emotional intelligence teaches email users how a subject line can strike the right or wrong cord. A subject line on an email from one’s boss that reads, “Come to my office,” might launch a quivering reader from a chair before opening the email to read, “at 1 p.m. for surprise birthday cake for Sally.” Although there are techniques to create compelling subject lines, one way to avoid abusing certain techniques is to never overuse them. For example. many people start their subjects with “URGENT.” But be warned, readers learn to ignore emails from the sender who cried “wolf!”

Another primary complaint is a recipient who persistently claims not to have received your email or not to have had time to read them “yet.” Most of us know that modern email systems rarely lose mail. What the sender hears is, "your emails aren't important enough to warrant my time and attention." Email etiquette is not limited to what we write, it extends to our behaviors as mature, responsible readers. Readers with high EQ realize that later conversations about emails they received will convey certain perceptions to the sender as would written responses. 

Although it is necessary to accept certain behaviors in our readers as fact, and like them or not, find ways to work around them, there are some behaviors that must be addressed. Emotional intelligence training equips one to recognize these situations and handle them in an appropriate manner relative to the roles both parties hold. High EQ doesn’t imply someone who accepts bad behavior from others. It means someone who can recognize behavior that they simply must or would do well to accept and behavior that they must address.

There are several blogs and websites offering practical tips for using email functionality more effectively. Check your email’s help facility and check the website of the email software company who develops the email package. There are also third parties who provide useful, practical advice to avoid trouble and become a savvy emailer. Here are two of my favorites: 

• “Send: Why People Email So Badly and How to Do It Better” by David Shihpley and Will Schwalbe
• "You Send Me: Getting It Right When You Write Online" by Patricia T. O'Connor and Stewart Kellerman

Both of these books touch on another implication that everyone should consider. There are legal implications to what we put on paper or in electronic form. Our awareness of libel laws prevents us from bashing each other in emails (or on social websites) and our awareness of plagiarism and copyright laws prevents us from performing a copy and paste and calling the “new” document our own. But there are many other implications that relate to your employer of which you should be aware and of which these books provide great overviews. Your employer may provide additional guidelines.

One final area everyone striving to improve their email communications quality must not neglect is solid familiarity with the rules of the English language (r the language in which they correspond) including spelling, grammar, word usage, and punctuation. Use the spell checker your software comes with but never rely on it. Use it to bring your to your attention to potential errors but do your own proofreading, or enlist a friend or colleague for help. Failure to properly proofread is another common contributor to email failures. There are many books, podcasts, and websites that can help you quickly ramp up your skills. Here are a few of my recommendations: 

• Podcasts, books, or the website by “Grammar Girl”
• “Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation” by Lynne Truss
• “Woe is I: The Grammarphobe's Guide to Better English in Plain English” by Patricia T. O’Connor (author of “You Send Me”)
• “The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: The Ultimate Handbook of Grammar for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed” or “The New Well-tempered Sentence: A Punctuation Handbook for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed” by Karen Elizabeth Godon
• “My Grammar and I… Or Should That Be Me? How to Speak and Write It Right” by Caroline Taggart and J.A. Wines
• “The Elephants of Style: A Trunkload of Tips on the Big Issues and Gray Areas of Contemporary American English” and “Lapsing Into a Comma: A Curmudgeon's Guide to the Many Things That Can Go Wrong in Print—and How to Avoid Them” by Bill Walsh

Putting the reader first has special implications in a multicultural organization. As one survey participant puts it, “[when writing to] colleagues for whom English is not a first language, it is even more critical to pause and re-read the email and perhaps even have someone else read it." 

With all its faults, email is here for a long time to come and in spite of its faults, it adds great value to our work and personal lives. It enriches our communications and sometimes heralds good news. It isn't all bad, as noted in this survey respondent’s praise, "a clearly written email is great; you get the information you need and even have a permanent record." Another respondent said, "It can empower people to take action or provide just the right information at the right time. If crafted well and sent in a timely manner, email is a hugely helpful tool." Email doesn’t always piss us off or leave us scratching our heads, as one survey participant reminds us, "E-mail, when utilized as a direct response tool, with action items as part of the text, can often elicit positive responses."


While improving your mastery of the English language will help you be a better writer in any medium, and becoming an expert-user of your email package will help you be more efficient email user, combining those skills with a high EQ will take you to new levels of communications excellence.